When I work with couples the central problem lies in the way they treat one another and their inability to communicate or listen to each other. The lack of respect, the harsh words, and the hurtful things they say and do to one another destroy the love and connection that initially brought them together. It starts with what our parents taught us or what they failed to teach us. If we grew up in a home that was neglectful, violent, hateful, racist, or exclusive, it’s more than likely we will become a person who reflects those qualities. And if there were no other viable alternatives to that wounding environment in our young lives, we would naturally develop a deeply negative inner life. We identify with what we experience. If our experience lacks heart, so will we.
