The other day I was sitting in my office with an enraged couple and I could not get a word in edgewise. They were locked nose to nose in a mudslinging, vitriol induced confrontation. I silently asked myself, what are they really fighting about? It can’t be about what she did fifteen years ago at a party, or that he simply won’t help around the house. It has to be about something really important. After they blew off some steam, we started digging into their history and a clear connection arose. He felt like she never really wanted him or loved him and guess what, he never felt loved or cared about when he was a kid. She felt invisible and not so coincidentally is the daughter of Middle Eastern parents who worshiped their son and treated her like yesterday’s news. Not to belabor the past because in truth, all experience in life matters, it’s just we spend so much time with the same people. But, yes, all that was going on, but it begs the question. The real question remains, what is the actual value of all that anger in this current battle royal? Does anger really have a place in arguments or relationships or is it some primitive vestigial organ like the appendix that we no longer need now that we don’t eat raw uncooked red meat.
The answers, as one might imagine, are not so simple. First of all, where does anger come from? Read More : http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/dr-bill-cloke/relationships-problems-and-advice_b_4817689.html